How to Play The Game®

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Hey kids, don’t miss out on the hottest electronic reality game on the market!  You might have heard it described elsewhere, but here’s how The Game® is really played.

On “Level One: Money,” grab that steering wheel and navigate Senator Lucre down K Street at breakneck speeds as he collects bribe after bribe from Well-Heeled Washington Lobbyists!  But don’t get too greedy: You need to hurry back to Congress in time to water down proposed Lobbying Legislation!  In the Big Bonus Round, help the senator sink as many putts as possible during his Golf Junket in Scotland!  Loads of fun!

On “Level Two: Drugs,” use your joystick to direct Nancy, the anorexic wife of a Prominent U.S. Politician, through a Pac Man-like maze.  Nancy gobbles Painkillers as she goes (prescription, of course!), pursued all the while by four members of the Liberal Media!  Because Nancy leads the national “Take a Pass on Grass” campaign, you win big Hypocrisy Points for each painkiller she ingests!  At the end of the round, a Mario-like character with a southern twang hops across the screen shouting, “But I didn’t inhale! I didn’t inhale!”  Oh boy! …

Comments

[Phil Anthropoid]

Perhaps in the Level Two bonus round, a chauffeur drives Nancy to rehab while you win big points by convincing a judge to apply the maximum 10-year sentence to a Black Character convicted of buying a few grams of crack.

[Felix del Campo]

Thanks for the suggestion, Phil. It would add insult to injury if Nancy's chauffeur were Black too.