P O S T E D B Y E N R I Q U E
As a gay pre-teen, I had only an inkling of why I was so strangely attracted to the 1960s TV series . I wanted to call Sandy and Bud Ricks on the telephone, wait until they answered, then hang up, giggling like a little girl.
Little did I know that .â€
P O S T E D B Y T O N Y
News item: The pastor of a Mount Airy, NC church accused of pulling out a gun as part of his sermon is free on bond after being charged with possession of a firearm. He was using the gun as an illustration.
Preacher: Now lissen up, sinners! [He fires two rounds from a pistol.] You varmints know that in Matthew 26 verse 52 the Good Book tells us that he who lives by the sword, dies by the sword. But 'taint say nuthin' 'bout guns, do it? No it don't. [Fires two more rounds.] What's that ma'am? Looks like nuthin' but a flesh wound to me. Stick 'round and I'll do ya a healin' service after the sermon.
P O S T E D B Y R A C H E L
“It’s a nice room, James, but … .â€
P O S T E D B Y E N R I Q U E
The February 2006 issue of seeks perfection in the malformed and gravitas in the patently silly. Although the editors playfully dubbed it the “Swimsuit Special,†they could just as accurately have described it as a transformative hermeneutics applied to the nature of contradiction.
A (the brand that brings you “Successful Livingâ€) pictures the apotheosis of our militarist culture, when the earth and everything on it is camouflaged for War. At this key moment in our history—now, one assumes—we can most effectively counter the ravages of the military-industrial-academic complex by purchasing knit shirts and distressed jeans. Missiles are peacekeepers. Arbeit macht frei.
An ad from Abreva asserts that “Nobody looks HOT in a cold sore.†But would be attractive even if half his body were covered with lesions, leading one to conclude that the ad is a kind of koan whose meaning is inaccessible to rational understanding, a post-postmodern deconstruction of the HOT/not-HOT binary that moves the reader to abandon whatever good judgment is left to him. Not likely? You’re reading this screed, aren’t you?
Finally, in an article on his new line of DVDs, Aaron Star declares that “[g]ay men—or men in general—need to celebrate the erect penis. It is a point of power for one’s masculinity.†Star’s statement once again privileges the male even though, as Aristophanes over 24 centuries ago, the phallus is a silly structure, made even sillier when it’s dressed up with and .
P O S T E D B Y F E L I X
The House of Representatives approved a today defining the Iraq War as between a man and a woman.
Congressmen speaking in favor of the resolution argued that it would help preserve the sanctity of killing people.
I’m glad they got this off their chests before the fall elections.
_____
Image source:
P O S T E D B Y T O N Y
Pat Robertson’s enables him to leg press 2,000 pounds, beating the by 665 pounds.
What would Jesus have pressed? The mute button, most likely.
P O S T E D B Y E N R I Q U E
From the :
At Saturday’s commencement ceremonies, McCain and Falwell marched side-by-side onto the stage in the university’s basketball arena. After a sometimes raucous faculty processional, in which students and faculty doused one another with aerosol cans of string, Falwell warmly praised his guest, saying, “The ilk of John McCain is very scarce, very small.â€
But did Jerry Falwell actually see John McCain’s ilk?
P O S T E D B Y E N R I Q U E
Should straight men find Condoleezza Rice sexy? All right, she’s arguably on the dog side of the beauty spectrum. But her looks don’t cause people to flee in panic, and many women find even ugly men sexy if they’re wealthy or powerful. So if you’re a straight man, shouldn’t you get wood thinking about Condi sprawled out naked on a bear rug?
This is essentially the question raised by Pete Wells in the May 2006 issue of magazine. Without so much as the benefit of a straw poll, Mr. Wells assumes that the wealth and power of older women like Hillary Clinton, Martha Stewart, and Oprah Winfrey fail to get a rise out of most men. It’s an odd non-argument, appearing in a magazine brimming with fashion photos of hunky shirtless guys. One might assume the magazine’s readers would rather be thinking about something else.
Like all mortals, we gay philosophers experience the power of sexual attraction. Yet despite all our warnings about the unexamined life, we seldom think about sex—in a philosophical way, I mean. These are, after all, very, very hard questions.
1. If women are from Venus and men are from Mars, where is from?
2. Why is it, if men raised in the Judeo-Christian tradition care so much for sex, that it’s missing from their descriptions of heaven?
3. Eros, agape, philia. Is there a fourth kind of love that makes it possible to find Madeleine Albright attractive?
P O S T E D B Y F E L I X
Roving Last Days reporter Rachel Tension watched FOX News for fifteen minutes today and filed this report …
“Well, Felix, it’s looking pretty Right Wing on FOX News tonight. The lead item on Iran was clearly written to stir up anti-Iranian sentiment. FOX News reported that Iran had essentially dared the United Nations to impose sanctions. ‘Prices at the pump will rise,’ taunted the Iranian Foreign Minister. Looks like they’ve got us by the balls.
“There was a story on the ‘Day Without an Immigrant’ protests planned for May 1st. As you know, Felix, pro-immigration activists urged immigrants and their supporters to stay home from work on May 1st to underscore the importance of immigrants to our national economy. FOX News reporter Adam Hauser pointed out that ‘May 1st is also a Socialist-Communist holiday, and that may not be a coincidence.’ It isn’t every day you hear reporting of this caliber.
“I sat through the commercials at the break, Felix, and I noted that sponsors included Ditech Financial Services, Bayer Aspirin, a dietary fiber company, and the manufacturer of a product for head lice—giving the impression that FOX News viewers are constipated, heavily indebted neuralgics with head lice.
“Back to you, Felix …â€
P O S T E D B Y F E L I X
An eye-catching item from the May 1, 2006 New Yorker:
In the ongoing South Americanization of political culture north of the border—a drawn-out historical journey whose markers include fiscal recklessness, an accelerating wealth gap between the rich and the rest, corruption masked by populist rhetoric, a frank official embrace of the techniques of “dirty war,†and, by way of initiating the present era, a judicial autogolpe installing a dynastic presidente—what has been dubbed the is one of the feebler effusions.*
South Americanization. It’s a wonderful conceit that will no doubt make the rounds of dinner parties and earnest discussions of the failings of the current junta. Of course we can expect our overly sensitive neighbors to the south to object to this characterization. They’ve not forgotten, like we have, Allende, Arbenz, and the other democratically-elected Latin American leaders we removed from power—all of this before we sank into the depths of our South Americanization.
But what progress this new political culture represents! Before we were South Americanized, “dirty war†was out of the question and we had to resort to killing people like the Vietcong by tidier means. When we enslaved the Africans and interned the Japanese we were no doubt forced to use a purer, more nuanced North American form of state brutality.
But now it’s cojones all out, people. Ay, caramba!
From my vantage point here in the heartland of America, I see, quite frankly, more signs of Disneyfication than of South Americanization. I see field after field of anaesthetized, consumerist sheep only vaguely aware of the nefarious forces that maintain the flow of corporate profits and, by logical extension, our American way of life. The Devil may doff his hat and show us his horns because we’re simply much too sated to care. Baaaaa!
If our country is headed South, it simply doesn’t have far to travel, so let’s enjoy the ride because detrás de nosotros viene the fucking lluvia.
_____
* .
Recent Comments